Bad Reaction To Eyebrow Waxing

As I said I will dedicate to speak to various aspects of crisis and, today I'll talk a little bit of crisis and world relations.

The world of relationships is equally fascinating and sometimes disturbing to the human psyche. Because of relationships (friendships, romantic, work) we enjoy, suffer, upsetting or organize our lives and times, however, the lack of reports or for the loss of some of our reports we lock up prison in a desolate solitude.

In this post I will focus to give some indications on the relationships that they fail, even in this case I want to emphasize that the crisis is more than normal, there are reports that come out strengthened from the crisis and others that are destroyed . The crisis is physiological, it can get because there is a need to change, because there are events that challenge, or because the game "evil" (in the case of relationships that is based on compromise, on a continuing waiver of the two partner opportunism on childhood illusions, etc..) that has been established no longer holds and reveals, through the crisis, the fragility of the relationship. The crisis, when it comes to toppling a friendship, a couple or a group, it has a strong meaning, it means that the parties are no longer in balance, therefore need to reassess and find a new equilibrium, or are intended to separate.

In general it is a couple of friends, a group, you must consider that when a relationship is established comes from similarities or differences in well-marked by special moments of life, etc.. And most of unconscious motives may exist for which you have with a person more than another for reasons which are not fully aware, for example, is convinced to be with a person because you love and you are attracted, but unconsciously his social status is that attracts us, because it responds to our need for social redemption. Or, you are convinced of being / the biggest friend of a person and really was fascinated by the world who attended that person, his hobby, or even by his clothes (defined as the attention that the person has for his image)! I'm not talking here of a greater or lesser forms of opportunism, but unconscious motivations that can lead us to initiate relationships, usually not fully aware of these reasons and because of this it can happen that we get stuck in relationships that we really want only partially. And 'course, or at least should be, all that we choose people who we like, but in our relationship choices count both our conscious and unconscious motivations, and sometimes are those unconscious (in fact, without realizing it) to push us the crisis.

And if we choose people who really do not estimate we realize, people who feel unpleasant, but we are together, then we should perhaps make us any question about how we value ourselves, how much pleasure and we feel worthy of being loved or rather what used to believe that we are not we tie ourselves to people we do not like and maybe even abuse.
Throughout our lives, happen changes in us, it is only normal, it can happen that we change and our partner / group / friend does not, or it can happen that the two parties on different aspects of change in question and that maybe, just change the case makes no you are more or why, or how to stay together. And, again, as mentioned earlier, it is possible that without realizing there are bound to a friend, a partner, a group that we believe may unconsciously compensate for our insecurities, our need for acceptance, certainty, creativity, etc. . It is not difficult, in fact, fall into the trap of "I tie that person to feel good," but must be well alone and then learn to live with each other.

I'd like to leave here a sort of cookbook relations "if this happens, you have to do this" and so on, and I'd also say you should not suffer if a relationship breaks down, if it becomes difficult or if you just when everything becomes extremely simple, paradoxically, no longer willing to carry it forward. But unfortunately and fortunately, I can not do everything and, I repeat, unfortunately and fortunately, the reports are so simple and so complex, so wonderful and so terrible, so obvious and so unpredictable, you can not and does not must use a form to live them. You can if you ever look inside, understand their motivation, remember that the only change is that we act on ourselves and not the other. If you want to live and enjoy the joy that relations damage, must also be willing to take "risks" that they may come: the loss, separation, betrayal, conflict. Are these "ghosts" that scare everybody, but not as willing to confront when you consider the joy that provides the comforting word of a dear friend, the kiss of a loved one, a trip with friends, etc..? Of course it is harder to feel this way if a friend has betrayed us, if your beloved has left us, if we lost or if we had to leave friends and maybe to work with a sudden and accidental event, the point is that we may, from time to time, make choices, but we can not have complete control over our lives, we can not predict everything in store only what is positive, we can "only" live, and if there is any hiccup, stopping to heal "wounds" and then on our way again and start life anew.

As I write I'm thinking to those who for some reason you end up with a story of life with or without disordered and I think those who have lost their parents too soon, to those who have never known them to those why best teacher was just up the road or against those who among the many teachers and schools and even great chance found themselves lost and disoriented, alone or abandoned, these people do not know if you ever come across in these lines, but if I happen to especially like to suggest them to take account of the first face and sincere friend who is coming, not to remove him and try to find out what it means to trust, let go and be in relationship with someone, you can change your life if you want.
Then you must always remember that to claim to be in connection one must be at least two, we can do to a certain point, we may seek food, breaking a relationship, but there is always a part that belongs to another, and without which we live only half a report
Returning to the factors that could serve as a source of crisis in relations, I think we can classify them, only by way of example, in the following categories:

• tangible factors: money, physical distance, the new job, change within the family (a son for example). A number of factors, whether positively or negatively affect our lives may be, if not responsible, however, trigger the crisis: that it is a friendship, an intimate relationship or a group. For example, money plays a significant role because it bind our experiences and our status, and an increase of money or a reduction in our revenue may affect our relations. Or a transfer: we believe that a relationship with someone (friend or partner may be) last forever and that the distance will not affect the relationship, then it happens rather than the everyday prevails and the bond distance becomes weaker and weaker. These same examples also apply to positive, for example, we find ourselves in a situation of economic difficulty (bad in itself) and on this occasion we discover the solidarity of family and friends, or we are forced to turn away for a transfer from a friend or a partner with whom we were in crisis, thanks to the distance and instead understand its importance and the relationship is strengthened. There are, in short, changes or conditions specific to where life leads us or compels us and that may contribute to the crisis.
  
• individual factors: can happen that change over time, or rather grow up with some of our issues and perhaps exacerbate some defects, or they cannot angles, and it may happen that the change has brought new vitality as well as crisis in a relationship: the other no longer recognizes. Most often this happens even when you embark on a course of psychotherapy or personal growth, however, is become aware of many things, you mature and you make changes to their way of being and not all who are around us are ready to embrace change. Sometimes changes occur in us due to new knowledge, new activities, new groups of people who go: we begin to dress differently, speak and think about different things, in short, we bring news of our lives and maybe we are left with someone close that is rather frightened by this news. And often they are simply our distinctive traits in the most intimate relationships especially, are best or the worst, the greater the intimacy of a relationship is more likely acuiamo that our faults and our more significant advantages.
  
• critical events: individual moments of difficulty such as crisis or illness put a strain on both ourselves and those around us, some of the episodes that most can strain relationships are the deaths and losses as well as trauma, particularly if violence (accidents, assaults, etc.).. But sometimes it is the hardest moments, critical incidents, we show our strength as well as the love that surrounds us. But we must say that very often the people as a result of trauma, loss and so on. tend to react by closing all the bridges with the "world" which belongs to the times before of trauma, you want to stop, stop to think, remember and feel the need to turn the whole page. For this reason, you should not take hasty decisions, but leave a little 'time to decide if you really want to understand and change their life, partner, friend, or if you are only justifiable in the throes of emotional crisis. Another critical factor, can be a traumatic event not experienced first hand but from a friend, family etc.., Disease, trauma of a loved one affects us, inevitably, think of how it can be difficult for couples to understand and accept that their child is born disabled, this is because for example in the first years of life is a factor that causes separation of many couples.
  
• unhealthy compromises: sometimes relationships are governed by equilibrium, or it might be more appropriate to say imbalances, unhealthy. The "nurse" and "sick", the "savior" and the "victim", the "arrogant" and "unsafe", the "masochistic" and "sadistic", are all examples of those relationships (friendships , sentimental, work), which creates a perverse game in which there is a huge imbalance between the parties and an extreme fixity of roles. These are situations where one party or both are always complaining the other and yet remain together. For example, one party alone, and also takes the place of the decisions, one of the components of the pair is very attentive and caring and the other is completely selfless, the other one is true to the infidel; part is responsible the other is totally irresponsible and unreliable, and always leans to the other, or even, the two partners (friends, colleagues, boyfriends) are not bound by a specific feeling or a valid rationale, but from an idea of \u200b\u200bthe instrumental ' other (in pairs because I want a child, I choose that because it is very competent colleague and I need for my projects, etc.). perhaps that is not consciously, but failed the objective (a son, a project work, etc.). you get to watch another as inappropriate and the pair broke out. In short, there are reports that there is a real imbalance, overload and discontent, especially a party, often in these situations where a party in question ceases to play its role (the savior, the sadistic, etc..) Report has paradoxically Finally, if the perverse game (couples who "leave and take" violent partners, working couples where only one of two gains, etc..), the partner who remains trapped in the vicious role will tend to seek a new partner " ill " and continue the game insane.

no indication of what may be interesting to see reports of various kinds if they fail.

• Friendship: you can stop wondering at first that we need our friend replied that basically, as the feeling of friendship is to be sustained by affection, a friend plays a role in our lives, sometimes This role is fixed: the friend who always helps us, what makes us laugh, so what we recommend. If we begin to feel that something is wrong with the way his friend would perform with us, and we must first ask how this friend there is satisfying in playing the role in which we usually see him do what there is to go beyond their personal egos and realize that a friend is always there to answer our needs, after which consideration should is in crisis, our friend, our view of him, or simply we are changing and we see things differently. If it is a friend who warns us that something is wrong, it's up to him to make his "analysis", we wonder what we're really doing it because he feels entitled to complain or accuse us. Very often, the crisis of friendship have to deal with fits of jealousy and possession or "attacks" fair and trust. That we find ourselves in the role of those who must apologize to those who must or choose to accept or not an apology (if they arrive), you should always try to have a critical but not to point fingers at each other and above all avoid arguments when the spirits are not very quiet and I think that in friendship the key issue is that of the borders, so one may wonder how he allowed his friend to cross the boundaries of their generosity, their trust, their loyalty, or vice versa as we have managed to intrude into the "ground" of the other. There are many definitions of friendship and many quotes on it, but right now I feel like friend who knows how to point you to define its borders, knows yours, and is always ready to stop in time before crossing.
  romantic relationships: I have deliberately made a distinction between romantic relationships and couples, because not everyone who establishes a relationship is defined as a couple. However, when a relationship breaks down I think the most interesting thing on which the dwelling is "what I'm looking in the other?". And when you start to respond with all our needs are, such as acceptance, caring, and so on, must include at least two things: one that is merely said to include what are our needs, we can learn to ask (or if We ask applicants not to become too), and that first we must ask ourselves if we understand the needs of others and if you respond. In analyzing these arguments, try to be constructive, include, for example, that you want to receive more attention, there must first be understood that we are responsible for the care we receive, we must personally take better care of ourselves, "give us more attention "and learn to ask more carefully, if the other can not give us, it's up to him to learn to choose whether to stay in his inability or give us the necessary conclusions, or our departure.
  
• Couples: some theories that use an evolutionary approach to study the pair, using stages of child development dependency of Margaret Mahler, controdipendenza, independence and interdependence to explain how are born, grow and develop normally couples. Tends to be a phase of meeting and union in which one starts from a kind of symbiosis: You are always together, you see the positive side, the other is perfect. Then takes over a period of controdipendenza, disillusionment, differentiation, created the first signs of incompatibility, the first disappointment, the other no longer meets all our needs. It 'possible that they experience moments of discouragement, doubt. And so we enter the next phase of independence, in which the couple felt the need to reach out, to regain possession of their spaces and explore, at this stage as well as the crisis seems to be very likely also the betrayal, the partners still have the desire to stay together, and if they can come superarare this stage in the process of interdependence in which we come to accept a bond that will inevitably imperfect, but that may be satisfactory, the partners closer together. Beyond this pattern of reading that has its limits like any pattern, Circulation theoretical knowledge of the couple, can serve to better reflect on the reasons for its crisis: it can happen that will remain fixed in a phase, that of symbiosis, for example, and at some point it feels suffocating, or that of independence and continue to betray then wondering why you are together.
  trite to say, but another when it seems very likely that couples go into crisis is the birth of a child, even when you want, and you chose to have a child, the birth of a child involves a disruption first and then a total reorganization, which puts a strain on many couples. In this case, you know, couple Warned! Couples often are surprised that after the much awaited event of the birth, beyond the obvious first organizational difficulties they experience conflicts and misunderstandings; though not obvious is strongly normal physiological We must take time and play down a bit '.
  Even in the couple remain important boundaries, being a couple does not mean zero, or worse yet another place you always feel in harmony. We must take a space for themselves and leave something else and take and reserve a space for couples.
  
• Groups: including family, friendship groups and work, grow and develop, are born with certain procedures. One of the constants is that the various members tend to assume a role, a role that is invested. If you look at a group, you can easily identify who holds the leader, who's "black sheep" of the scapegoat, who test and so on. Even in this case very often the crisis comes when a member is not and therefore disturbs the balance, when one of the members exacerbates the role or when stopped instead of covering. Sometimes it happens rather than the member of the group continues to play the usual role, but this role is no longer functional group so that makes him or expel or in any way to change. Within groups can also usually find the alliances between the various members, this is a mechanism (more or less conscious) through which business decisions are made.
  If you are part of a team in crisis the most useful thing is to seek advice from someone outside the group, preferably an expert (who will not give indications of a party, but unbiased information), as personal resources may not be sufficient to address the crisis of an entire system; can still be useful to reflect on what role it plays within the group and how it is more correct to use its role or its suspension.

What is very often believed that necessarily the crisis in relations, "come and say" that the relationship must end, it is not necessarily so, some crisis "is telling us" it's time to close a report, others are there to transform it. Certain moments of crisis are laborious, require responsibility and commitment, but ultimately a little 'carefree, because even if the crisis, you can not find room for a bit' of lightness, irony and detachment, then out . As for the pain takes over, especially when one is alone, the time and the relationships themselves are the only drugs; sure you can indulge in a bit 'of time alone, you must meet before meeting others. In crisis situations related to relationships, when others tell us that will be hard to believe, is that we are exiting a separation, a bereavement or who knows What other situation, I just feel our pain, our anger, or sometimes what we tell ourselves as against indifference and apathy or euphoria (which is nothing but a way to avoid our pain), because we feel that these feelings are growing out of proportion (as much as the void is getting larger in us), it is hard to believe that eventually, it will be better. Yet, I believe that people like me to practice their profession as a psychotherapist, had a vantage point from which to view the world of relationships and know that even if there are too many certainties (even resolved a crisis that we face another) is instead sure that for everyone, wanting, there is the possibility to address the world of relations and crisis, it is possible to leave refreshed and ready to continue on its journey, at times lighthearted and at times a bit 'more burdened or marked: this is life.

Traps: sometimes there are some beliefs that I wanted to call pitfalls here, that fuel our state of crisis "sooner or later others will change and everything will be better", "I pretend to anything and everything as good as before "" I have to change at all costs so they'll like. " Only a few examples, these convictions that may cause our crisis will not dissolve but may be long: so often separates the other change for us, the others change only if they really want to do it, we can affect our change, but hope to stay there in the other's is quite counterproductive to pretend anything, this is a ' other solutions that we sometimes take in times of crisis, a solution for a moment that if a human being can take, over time we can backfire, can lead us to distance us from our real needs, to build a fictional world in which " anything goes ", but nothing really good. And again, another trick may be to impose a change at all costs, and do not in themselves, but in the hope that the other, friend, partner, family, we appreciate more, in most cases we end up with small and superficial changes do you want, and with each other, following our change to or moved away or approached but we do not we want more. Among the many compromises that sometimes the relationship will, of course the lie to oneself may be one of the most harmful.